Dorothy Day wrote a book, an autobiography late in her life entitled The Long Loneliness. It was sort of a sad book because Dorothy had experienced a hard life: First married, then divorced, then living alone.

But we learn from her autobiography that she found her greatest joy in being with others, with people of all classes of society. That was probably the reason why she founded The Catholic Worker and the Houses of Hospitality: She loved people and needed people to fill up her life because she was basically a lonely person.

It has occurred to me many times that perhaps most of us are basically lonely people. We come into this world all alone and we leave this world alone. But in the intervening years we long for and search for companionship: We marry, we join social groups or religious communities, and we make friends, often for life. All this tells me that we cannot bear to be alone.

Whoever was the author of the Book of Genesis he surely had a deep understanding of human nature. He is convinced that God created woman because it was not good for the man to be alone; so he created a helpmate. Then he adds this: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and joins himself to his wife and they become one body.” One translation uses the word “cling”, the man “clings” to his wife because she is all he has. Without her he will be lonely for all of his life.

I have always thought of those lines as containing a deep insight into our deepest longings. Is it any wonder then that we spend so much of our life searching for that one person who will fulfill our deepest desires?

I often tell young people at their wedding that from this day forward they are meant to “cling to one another.” It is what will give meaning to their lives.

Despite this normal human longing, however, we are still destined to spend much of our life alone. Two examples: Occasionally I will walk back into church after Mass on a Sunday and look around. Not a soul is left in the pews. I say to myself: “An hour ago this place was packed with worshipers. They depended on me to celebrate the Eucharist; they waited for a word of encouragement in the homily. But now they have all gone their way and I am here alone (with Jesus!)”

Some years ago when I taught at a university, I would often join the drama students, taking a minor role in some play. Sometimes when the production was over, I would walk back out on the stage and look around. Not a soul in the bleachers; everyone had gone home and here I stood alone on the stage.

All this tells me that at many times in our lives we need to admit that we do stand alone. How must it be then for those who are sent to solitary confinement in prison? I would find that unbearable.

As I read the gospels, the story of Jesus’ life, I have the sense that he too must often have been lonely. True enough, he would choose to be off by himself in the desert or the mountains. But we also know that he longed for the companionship of his friends Lazarus, Martha and Mary. He “hung around” with the Twelve Apostles, with the Seventy Two, with many disciples. He was truly at home with the crowds. We also know, of course, that on the last night of his life he depended on his friends to support him: “Could you not watch one hour with me,” he cried out?

Perhaps it is not so unlikely, therefore, that he decided to establish a community of friends that would eventually become what we know as Church today. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to call together his friends and tell them that he would not leave them orphans. Even though he must eventually leave them and go his way, he would send them an Advocate, the Holy Spirit, who would continue to be with them forever.

That is the way I have always thought of Church, as a gathering of friends at worship. True enough, Mass often seems like a formality that we take part in all alone but it does not have to be that way. There ought to be a sense of companionship in the pews and in the relationship of the presider and the folks.

If there is ever a situation where ideally Christians, Catholics, should not need not feel alone it would surely need to be in Church. That is one place where we definitely are one big family.

So, all these thoughts came to me as I looked through the liturgical calendar and noted that next Sunday we celebrate the feast of the Ascension of the Lord, Jesus’ leave-taking. And following that we celebrate the feast of Pentecost, the day of the Lord’s return in the Holy Spirit. All that tells me that we should never consider ourselves orphans. Jesus has never truly left us.

Perhaps Dorothy Day had it right: The best way to escape life’s Long Loneliness is to find a community and to cling to it. When you think about that, it’s probably the only option we have and not a bad one at that. The scriptures: Acts 8: 5-8, 14-17; 1 Peter 3: 15-18, John 14: 15-21